Saturday, July 31, 2010

睡觉前想的东西...

如果神给我一个机会回到过去，我不会选择回到和你在一起的那一天...

我想要把时间转到那一个下午...

我不会故意问你：＂我可以吃了吗？＂

而我会说...

＂我很爱你，所有我才会生气落泪。因为我太在乎你。而我现在气头上，你让我消气先再谈好吗？

我从来没有要让你难过生气..
为了堵住气而伤到了你... Baby, 对不起。


Although u hurt me deeply that day too by leaving me all alone and stormed out of the restaurant after a big bang on the table... I don't blame u, I don't hate u still... Because i'll get so hurt if u've said the same thing too...

My biggest regret... For not explaining... My biggest mistake, for saying such stupid thing...

So if I could turn back time, will not be the time of our 1st kiss... but that afternoon to say the right thing...

Yah I know, u can't give a damn. You've MOVED ON. Yes, I know it thru ur big capped msg that day. dun worry I won't hold u back and I'll moved on too.

|by ~* Bunny *~ at 7:34 AM|

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No I won't be Afraid... woooo.... I WON'T... Be Afraid

I WANNA GET IPHONE 4!!!!!!! BLACK ONE!! LOL. Everyone's interested in the white. but bunny's more of a 'black' person! LOL. reserved and is still waiting and my patience is running out!! haha=p but then hor, I'm also very broke now lah... thanks to all the air tickets and the climbing package lah! so sad!

Dun worry... it's just gonna be a very small one on my neck somewhere near to back of my ear.. haven't done it yet. very much want to though! gonna make a visit to exotic tattoo to look for famous Su soon...

This is the one and only tattoo I have currently (although the かcharacter was not done correctly! LOL!) ...

Alright I'm not addicted to tattooing! Every tattoo I decided to get have a meaning... I thought of 3 years before I got my 1st one. Which I had the artist to design it to what I described personally. So you most likely won't see another person with the same purple star tattoo with the same "Takara" wording (which if you realised, it's similar to my own handwritten hiragana, which once again I shall remind the か was not copied correctly... hahaha!) as what I have now unless they've got the same idea too or unless the artist did it for someone too coz he took a photo after I've got this...

As for the Hakuna matata symbol... I'd always wanted it but I didn't dare to get it. As for that, i believe someone out there has it liao lah... but I simply love the meaning.

Oh yah! Anyway, just for laugh... let's take a look at some funny and kinda stupid tattoos:

Can someone tell me WHY??? WHY DOES HE WANNA ANNOUNCE TO THE WORLD THAT HE IS STUPID?? Anyway, that was a god damn stupid idea.

Good one isn't it? Mothers could do this to keep their children entertained while they're having high tea with their friends. LOL!

And yes damn it. this is madly, crazily, disgusting. and plain dumb. WTH right? Artistic to some, but definitely NOT ME!

Alright... time to hit the bed for the sleepy head! Good night people. Sweet dreams! =)

The day's just gonna get better =) Dun give up Bunny!　がんばって　ね！=)

Hakuna Matata!!!

|by ~* Bunny *~ at 5:24 AM|

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Friday, July 30, 2010

六六!!

六六's almost half of Bunny's size!! LOL.

yup... Life's like that... Many things unexpected. Looking at a unpredictable tomorrow. Fall down once, get up and try again... Luckier things, happier things just come your way. =) I'm a extremely lucky girl... I lost something, I always gain something. I lost him, but I gained endurance and knowledge. I got to know Cherish... and I cherish everyone who gave me a hand for all these while to pull me out when I was sinking in the pool of quicksand. I cherish every moments I had and will be having... =)

And yes, tomorrow will always be a better day, a luckier day.

I have so many things I need to do!! But I'm not doing! Bills are in a mess, stomach's calling me to refill it, bed's asking me to sleep on it soon! dumpy and blue bun want me to hug them! LOL. and what's bunny doing now??....

blogging... LOL!

I am so excited about the chalet and my taiwan backpacking and my sabah hiking! I just can't wait for the day to come!

and I wanna go for some rock climbing courses... like getting some cert so I can climb without those pros doing the belaying. but it's freaking expensive! and I dunno where to start...

though I'm doing Hot Yoga still... but kinda slack a lot leh... lazy to wake up for classes. NO!!!! Bunny must buck up lah!

and can I go learn dances?? sigh... money money and still money. kns. 财神爷！请让我的爸爸妈妈和哥哥一直中4D 和 Toto 可以吗??!! LOL!

then again.. they strike lottery also their money. not mine. LOL!

Nice Right????!!!! I dunno where is this but If only I can climb on it!! Omg... Loves! Imagine standing on it enjoying the breeze and the clear blue sea...

And this! I thought the side of the rock looks like a skull... A little scary formation but it looks like a pretty nice rock to climb... Especially with the view.

Btw, I stole these pictures fom Facebook Climbing Group's photo album!
LOL! hope i dun get sued for copyrights... though I did say its origin! heez...

Oh, dearest Joey sent me a very meaningful email in office today... I thought I could copy in the contents here......

How true... I stupidly made him the priority of my life... But I guess I was just an option in his life...

So now, I stop saying. I start doing. things that I truly enjoy =)

When I woke up... He's still the 1st thing I think of. but it's no longer painful nor sad. becoz he was just a dream. I'm chasing Not that dream, but chasing after every other dreams of my life =)

Yah, and it's not too late for me. I don't need to change... but I won't cry for someone who don't care for me and I won't care for someone who don't cry for me. Not Anymore.

Heez... I gotta learn this though.


I want to and I will... =)

My current situation? I may not be loved by him, but I'm well loved by my family and friends.

Meaningful aren't they? Very true too isn't it? Thanks Joey for the email!!! =D

I read LZ's blog and I feel very... hmmm... sweet. I find her a very nice and strong girl. And I feel (like I said, I FEEL lah.. My personal opinion lah...) strangely we have some similarities. I mean, I'm Not comparing myself to her nor am I trying to create any coindences or you know.. Just that when I read her past entries... it feels like I am reading my own story. and the things she blogged... was kinda like... a person experiencing many sorts of emotions.. which is like... I'm like this too.. LOL! Most Similar part were we both fell for the same guy, cry for the same guy, hated the same guy and relunctantly letting go of the same guy! LOL!! nahz... I am just illustrating becoz I'm feeling a lot of mixed emotions now. But I find her braver and cooler! Anyway, very strangely I dun feel any jealousy or negative feelings towards her.. I just find her very genuine too. I envy her diving pictures! the underwater world's so nice! too bad bunny can't swim..... grrrr.... LOL. alright, I shall continue enjoying the nice Land world. LOL!
Once again, Bunny is NOT comparing her and me or purposely finding similarities to pity myself hor!!! LOL. though I admit lah, Bunny's more emo and I blog more personal stuffs (may be good & bad thing lor) lah... LOL!

Anyway... I wanna do my tattoo and get my Iphone 4 soon... BUT I'M GOD DAMN BROKE! SHITTY! lol.

good night everybody! Bunny's gonna hit her baby bed soon. hakuna matata! =D

|by ~* Bunny *~ at 5:11 AM|

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Thursday, July 29, 2010

Hakuna Matata! =D

こんにちわ！

I slept very little these day.. I think I'm addicted to blogging!! LOL. nahz.. schedule's kinda packed.. busy but yet very happy & satisfying =D oh yah, I finally break the news to my parents about my pathetic super short 5 days Taiwan backpacking trip.. oh! before that will be 2 days of relaxation with sista Janet in KL! heez... dad & mum seemed kinda worried though.. coz of my gastric condition.. but I promised them I'll bring my bag of medicines and careful with what i eat. I guess they pretty much dun have a choice... coz I already booked my flight tickets and hostel stay! hehehe... feel kinda guilty but hope they understand, I really really need a getaway this badly.

Papa & mummy are very relunctant to let me go for my Sabah Mt. Kinabalu Hiking Trip in November.. said it's about my ankle injuries and my gastric condition again... sigh, it's always about my poor health. I'm borned lack of calcium and becoz of my health conditions I often injured myself or fall sick... so my parents are extremely worried about my hiking trip. but it's not my 1st time hiking! I always like climbing and hiking... so I asked dad "If becoz of all these health reasons that I don't do it now, can I do it at the age of 80?"

silence from dad...

sometimes, it's sad to know that you're restricted from doing things because of health conditions. come to think of it... in the past, I always hid it from dad and mum.. I always confirm it or do it before telling them.. OBS, rock climbing, hiking at Mt. Ophir etc... I'm sorry I always went my own ways and made you guys worried. But I really love doing it. and I want to do it... before I can't do them anymore.. I'm Sorry Papa & Mummy.

But I think Dad & Mum knows =) they knew since I was a child, I had that passion for climbing. One interesting recollection: Mum came back from Muar one day and told me she went to do fortune telling of me. The fortune teller said to her in mandarin "Your daughter ah, weak health, accident prone but love to climb here climb there... tell her to be careful coz she's accident prone!"

LOL!! Ever since then... Mummy super duper 'anti' my activities lor! as long as she hears the word "爬" (means climb in mandrin)!

Still, sorry mum! I Need and I Want to go for my Hiking Trip.

So looking forward towards the chalet and trips! =)

hmmm. Looking back on my entries I realised I'm moving on slowly well. A little pessimistic in my past entries though. Sigh, no matter how nasty he was to me during the break up, no matter how untrue were his words of break up, no matter how different he does whatever things now, no matter how much I suffered during and after the r/s... I guess, I did Loved him very much before, I was very happy with him before, I was very comfortable with everything I did with him. Although leaving him gave me much more opportunities to do lots of things and feeling more relieved in every aspects... I guess... I just want to believe that his love for me Was True... slowly I wanna forget everything about him... everything. Except forgetting My Belief of his true love for me. I never knew if it was true or not... becoz he could be telling me the truth, he could also be telling me the lies... whatever it is. I just wanna believe I was really Loved by him. other than that, I just wanna forget... Forget every little things, every little parts of him. Forget about Tiggy, forget about Timmy, Forget about Thomas Chew.

yup! And I'll be brave and strong and mighty! LOL. nahz... I think travelling alone is kinda brave thing to do. Say Yes! (if not bunny will kill u! hahahaha!)

anyway, went out with Janet for Dinner at Crystal Jade Bugis today then to ION to buy her mum's birthday present. Went in to Sephora and I came across Harajuku Lovers (Perfumes) by Gwen Stefanie! (Btw, I'm a Perfumes lover freak cum collector...) OMG!! I LOVE IT!! I always wanted to get them when I saw the advertisement on the magazines but I always didn't buy it... =( Becoz each 10ml bottle cost SGD38... There's currently 2 ranges - Harajuku Lovers and Harajuku Sunshine Cuties... so 10 bottles = SGD380... ermmmm..... *Bunny check her wallet* cannot lah...

Aren't they adorable!! I didn't get to smell each of every bottle though but those that I smelled, smells great! Lasting or not, not very sure since I haven't try before.. oh well, I told sista Janet that I shall tell everyone to buy me one bottle if they ever want to get me a gift... LOL!! Christmas, birthday, Valentines' Day... Whatever lah! LOL!!!

Anyway, I had lots of laughter gossiping with her lor... super 三八lah the both of us. LOL!

After that went to meet Bestie Via and we made our way down to Timbre @clark quay! Nice place =) cooling and relaxing. nice half&half pizza and lovely drinks. of coz, not forgetting a cute miami hunk who chatted with us and helped us took a few photos. sweet...

Oh... After Timbre was Dessert and Tea at Nectarie.. We ordered the Red Wine Strudel, Morrocan Mint Tea and Rose Bud tea. It was good! though service was not up to my expectation as nobody served us when we walked in, we gotta call out for the staff to give us the menu actually.. And lots of cakes were sold out already (but then we also very late lah, we reached there like 1am plus lor...) but after calling the staff to take our order, her patience in recommendation of desserts makes me a little happier =)

Red wine strudel was fabulous! They actually uses pears soaked in red wine and chilled! The red wine pears were crunchy yet smooth.. Coupled will cold custard cream and crispy ice-ing crust. One word - YUMMY!! best part? It stated SGD6.50 in the bill... (I expected it to be more expensive! I never check the price before ordering... LOL!)

Morrocan Mint tea was good... extremely minty, smells a little tinge of ginger (but it's actually lemongrass) and very smoothing... Good for after intake of alcohol for someone with gastric condition. =)

Rose Bud tea was so-so. Very mild taste of rose... Not very impressive.. But overall, I like it there! =D


Oh! before we went to Nectarie, we actually stopped by at G Max to take a look at the Singapore Bungy Jump and Bungy Swing... I SO WANNA PLAY IT!!!! But need to save money for my trips =( Plus both Via and I were wearing... ermmm.... Mini Skirts. LOL.



Look!! So cool right?! I so wanna go for it! One day!! =p

Alrighty.. OT time later. gotta earn more for my trips! LOL. Hopefully I can go my Hot yoga class too!

Good Night!! Hakuna matata!

Hakuna matata is a beautiful phrase from Swahili language (Swahili is spoken mainly in Kenya and Tanzania in East Africa). In short that means “no worries for the rest of days”, or simply "No worries".. Forget your troubled past and forget your worries.

=)

|by ~* Bunny *~ at 5:12 AM|

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Tuesday, July 27, 2010

明白什么叫做“珍惜”

wow! it's been a crazy crazy week! I had lots of Fun hanging out with Besties and Sistas and Darling girls! in the last one week that feels forever, I experienced so many types of feelings! Depressed, Jealous, Anger, Happiness, Satisfaction and finally Peace... or should I say it's generosity? Anyway, I just know that I'd a day which I was so greatly awaken, I realised I shld stop wasting time like him. yeah... so I make my 1st daring step for a few things.

Alright, let's leave the most exciting part to the end of this entry lah hor? LOL! suspense suspense suspense... See what I'd done for the last one week??

hehe=p God damn delicious Korean BBQ in JB! *drool*
Bestie Prab drove us there for dinner. This is the 1st time I actually enjoyed Korean Food! Boss-cum-Chief is a true blue korean man who's really friendly! Look at the steamed egg, one word - Fabulouso!

I love going JB... Though I love going Muar even more! LOL! yah yah, half a malaysian kid, I kinda like staying in Malaysia. People there are not so particular... hmmm... how should I say? less stressful? So far, friends and relatives from Malaysia could be so much more 'open' in terms of speech. Like... Bunny sometimes talk without thinking straight and may be offensive. Instead of getting offended, they either hack-care or they directly clarify with u. oh well, or at least that what I thought when I communicate with my cousins. =p

Darling Girls Dinner @ Bukit Timah! Loves! After Dinner was a chill out session at the nearby Old Town. Simply enjoy their company.. understanding and humourous and supportive. They're the reasons to my belief in Forever Friends. =)

Steamboat @ Bugis with Sista Janet!!! Gosh, I always Love Steam Boat! Really! If I do not have gastric problem, if I dun get fat so easily, I could almost steamboat everyday!! LOL. And guess what? I learnt a new skill... I KNOW HOW TO EAT CRAB FINALLY!!! with the help of the equipment (which I dunno what is the name for that! LOL!). Of coz, if you gimme crab to eat with just my hands and teeth, I'll probably.... not eat it. haha! After steamboat was dessert at Ah Chew Dessert stall opposite the steamboat place! Extreme Full... LOL. thanks to sista.

Looks great isn't it? Too bad I dun have those super pro kind of camera and too bad I dun have the knowledge for it! I'm so into taking pictures! Anyway, Bestie Via and I realised we haven't took any photo since Poly I think! so we decided to chill out at Marina Bay Sands, enjoying the breeze and night lightings scenery and take photos! Loves! It's really beautiful there... just too bad there's still lots of constructions going on and nothing much except for the pretty building structures.

Saw these cute drawings by 8 years old kids at YOG Park!:

I thought this one looks like La Bi Xiao Xing 蜡笔小新! damn cute hor? =)

Took this... coz it's so cute!!! Innocent drawing... I never knew Merlion looks like that! LOL.

Alright... confession time... =(
I'm doing good now that I have stopped thinking about him as much as before... the fact that I've deleted everything and forgotten his phone number helps a lot.
But there's one thing I really cannot cannot get over... is that he had came up with so many excuses to dump me, yet he still expects me to understand that his selfish actions were actually doing him and me good. And he expected me to buy his stories that we cannot get along etc and now he's actually 'finding his ways' to close the chapter between him and LZ be it gd or bad...

To close the chapter between him and LZ somehow became like a lie. It's more like... He wanted to get back close with LZ again. it's more like... he wanted to close the chapter in a good way.

He said he wants singlehood, he said he never been single for more than 5 days in the last dunno how many years. Let's see... how long is he going to enjoy this singlehood. If LZ decided to return to him, i give him 3mths? LOL.. yeah, lulu is right. Thomas is someone who can never stand loneliness (although he always claims he is independent and can be alone. Not for long was what answered to me by others).

Though I very much wish to believe he really did truly love me... somehow his actions now made me feel like I was a substitute for his loneliness. Of coz, also became like a tool for him to get away from Ms Jail. I never understood how someone could made the most promises in the world and break them like they never meant anything. worse still was that he thinks I dun get it when it was his actions and words dun tally. I never understood how could someone at his age never realised what he did was so contradicting. did he even realises that what he did made me feel like a spare tyre? but yeah, ah lin is right, like as if he cares. He dun cares. so why bother thinking?

the fact is he never cherished me... and all his current actions has caused him to portray himself as a liar. (yah I know, as if he cares since he created wonderful stories to me, he could do it to anyone) I finally understood why friends including myself alway commented he has play-boy look. it's not so much of the physical looks, rather, it was his actions i guess. yeah, lovely auntie susan actually told me this today that she was not shocked about our break up (LOL. she is the 1st one and only one i heard so far, not shocked about it. haha!). she was telling me that he gave her a impression of a immature boy not wanting responsibilities and commitments but just play. Not worth my tears, effort and love. sigh, I know. But forking out so much in every aspects for him, makes me wanna hate him now. yet I dunno how. I never really hated anyone. I guess... Forgiven him, but not forgotten yet.

though becoz of many issues, especially some sensitive ones, made me feel like...... He didn't know what he did makes him look super No-Pride (I dunno what's a correct word for this... 没尊严) Discussed this topic and conclusion came out that... if we are him, we won't do such a thing... it's just 超丢脸 for a guy.

Anyway, Ah lin and Prab and few others commented to me about his FB shoutouts. they were telling me it's god damn juvenile to do a countdown. Nobody is stupid enough to leave a work place with a bad impression. should... 好聚好散... becoz you'll never know one day you may need help from anyone, or just imagine one day it happened your ex-bosses become your bosses again. what will be your career impression? sigh, i dunno why did he do that. ever since he came back from Taiwan, things he's been doing (let's not say about those for our break up) has just become very... juvenile is the right word provided to me. I mean... I'm not trying to put him down... Just feel very sad. like where was that guy I always admire went to?

and juvenile reminds me of that one saturday when he was upset with the cab uncle's attitude... He just threw the money to the uncle and forced me and himself out of the cab in the middle lane of a busy road. sigh. i hated that moment. it was god damn childish... I just didn't have a chance and a heart to tell him that.

it makes me wonder... why did I shed so much tears for him... and why... am I still in Love with him? well, apparently he's doing very good with LZ now. even recommended her the brand of corns he likes, which is of what he used to make cup corns for both of us.

Love is so fragile. I never knew. I always thought love is so meaningful and great that it could moves me to tears. yet now, it was that fragile-ness that brought tears to me.

Anyway, enough of him! LOL. just a moment of emo-ing and Bunny will be strong again! LOL. I know I know he's not worth it.. 我知道了啦! I just kind of miss that responsible mature and caring timmy I used to know. But I'm looking forward. I know I deserve a better guy whom I dun have to suffer with. Especially emotionally & financially. LOL!!!

Actually... becoz of the break up.. I really see through lots of things. kinda like grew up overnight. in a way, forced to grow up actually. LOL. but I realised I really have a lot of people loving me... even friends that I didn't managed to contact often.. My family and friends really care alot.. I'm so glad I really had a lot of people to pull me up when I fall. Understood the meaning of 'Cherish', understood how important they are to me now... 明白什么叫做“珍惜”。Everybody... thanks for being there =D I really dunno how else to thank u guys.

Anyway, time to reveal that mystery that's making me sooooooo excited!:

1)
10 Aug 2010 - I organised a chalet for me and close pals from citi shift team!!

2)
22 Aug 2010 - (I know this is very SUA GU but yes....) My 1st time taking plane! LOL. I'll be flying to KL with Sista Janet for 2 days...

3)
24 Aug 2010 - Damn crazy... I'll be flying off ALONE from KL to backpack in Taipei Taiwan for 5 days!! I hope I could stay longer though but kinda last minute decision so in the end could only do it for 5 days... really gonna be budget and explore. of coz, I found a comfortably looking hostel near to Taipower MRT station.

My 1st Daring Step, also a breaking point... you know, I'm a super duper timid bunny so I never really dare to sleep alone at unfamiliar places.. plus I'd never been further than Genting lah! LOL! Sista Janet and I both are very proud of myself lor! LOL!! hahaha=p this time going alone sounds scary to me actually but yet, exciting! I got so many places I wanna visit!! Bunny 加油! oh peeps! if anyone of you has any books or maps or guides or tips etc on Taipei, PLS PLS PLS LEND ME & TEACH ME!! =D

4)
14 Nov 2010 - 5D4N trip to Sabah with Bestie Via... We gonna do climbing to submit of Mt Kinabalu in 2 days... so I gonna start doing quite a bit of training now.. coz most likely will be a little 'xiong' since it's to reach the top in 2 days.

5)
Gonna get one more tattoo... a small one on the side of my neck near to my ear most likely... holy shit. LOL. I hope Daddy & Mummy won't scold and my stupid Sis Janice won't 有样学样! becoz everytime she does something, always very extreme!!! then it became 大姐's fault!!! Pls Pls Pls!! Don't!! LOL.

LOL.... 5 events... enough huh? Looks like I gonna eat bread for the next 1/2 year man... and chiong for OT le lah... Hopefully in the meanwhile I could find a job that pays well too... Really wish to change environment... though I can't bare to leave Citi... I really like my friends here... and job wise I actually find it okie... but really hated the flashbacks of our story in office. Guess, it's time i learn some new skills too...

Phew. Long Long entry again. it's 3pm now and I was back from Night shift at 11am (after breakfast with sista Janet and Via Via Khoo) and I'm still blogging... goodness. gotta wake up in 4hrs time for a movie date. LOL.

Good night peeps! good afternoon peeps! good day peeps! LOL.

Hakuna Matata =)

|by ~* Bunny *~ at 12:45 PM|

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Sunday, July 25, 2010

别再为他流泪 (Translation: Don't Cry because of him anymore)

~别再为他流泪~ 是梁静茹的歌... I love this song... I've been repeatedly listening to it for at least 2 whole days and I'm not sick of it yet... it's a song which somehow give me peace & strength to move on... You can watch the MV (i have in the ipod list on the left side of my blog =p) and you'll realise it's a song that is really motivating for whoever out of love...

ahem. I'm posting an entry about Facing Break Up today. which i supposed whoever that reads it gonna be quite skeptical towards my own opinions, especially coming from someone just out of love. LOL! but then again... last 1 mth has been really tough for me. I pulled through still!! and at least for now I feel happy and relieved. I just want this experience to be recorded as a lesson for me... I want to record down the encouragement and advices from others who helped me one way or another to pull through this.
and also, i hope whoever out there (be it the guy or the girl, although the following will be describing like it's for girls only, becoz it's my own experience mah...) feeling depress, helpless, heartbroken from a r/s could stand up soon... no matter how tough the break up is, remember you're not alone. So Stand Up Soon.

1. You're not alone

You can never imagine the number of people I spoke to in the last one month, the number of people who feel sad with me, who hugged me, brought me out, hear me cry on the phone, watched me rot on the bed, watched me walk around like a zombie, posted encouragements for me in Facebook, texted me. There are not only my family members, but my friends, colleagues but even strangers! this was said to me by many close friends "LOOK AROUND, YOU'RE NOT ALONE!"

and keep that in mind, whoever that accompanied me are not just singles... which means, it's not becoz they are Free / Lonely that's why they do it. family and friends care! I even have a friend who drove me around like a Chauffeur and I was crying on a friend's shoulder (who is the girlfriend) at the BACK SEAT. they didn't mind a bit at all...

TALK TO SOMEONE! DON'T CRY ALONE! IT'S CRUEL TO YOURSELF.

Don't feel despair. Don't feel like the world's ended. I know it's easier to say than to do it. But I felt it too. I felt like dying, in fact, I wanted to die.. I repeatedly asked myself "why? what went wrong? what can i do to bring him back?" I wanted to sleep and never wake up. I didn't want to eat, I didn't want to drink, I didn't want to move at all. I only wanted to cry and sleep and hoping I'll never open my eyes again.

You know what happened in the end? I got so depressed I fell so sick. I fainted a few times (becoz I never eat & drink mah... ), I vomitted every intake of food becoz of my gastric problem. I had fever and migraine, my low blood sugar problem acted up and I was god damn miserable... Did he return? No he didn't. He didn't even text to ask how are you feeling. He didn't even says I'm sorry for everything but I hope you'll get well soon. He wasn't even there! not physically, not emotionally! Whenever I text him to tell him how much I missed him, I received either No-Reply or I received a cold nasty reply that got me more worked up.

Where is the Love? My dear, there's no more love. When someone broke up with you giving you tonnes of explanation and excuses, he/she no longer loves you.

Of coz I'm not saying about those dramatic scenario like "he has a terrible illness and he left you for the better of you having himself suffers alone silently".

I'm talking about the scenario where he/she tells you "I think we're not compatible." / "I cannot forget my ex." / "I think we need to give each other space to grow and take things naturally." / "I want to forcus on career." / "I want to concentrate on studies." or worse, silent break ups.

And yeah, almost all the reasons above were his reasons to break up with me. And how did he break that news to me? By SMS. yes, I ain't lying. It's BY SMS. We talked only becoz I called him back immediately and I rushed down to see him immediately. Yeah, that was how courageous he was, to break up with me over an SMS. I wasn't even worth an effort to have my number dialed to be told of the break up. So why cry for a guy who choose such un-glam way of breaking up?

Don't ask me why. I could only think of One reason now, he was afraid of telling me he has a change of heart. (though what most people will say is I dun do it over phone / face to face becoz I dun wanna hurt her. Or becoz I dun wanna see her cry etc... Whatever, if that person cares, this won't even come.)

So back to the point, where was the person who promised he'll go through thick & thin with you when you needed him most?? Somewhere out there? Maybe singing K or drinking with a bunch of friends, smsing someone else, playing games or watching movies, simplest term - Having Fun. Finding ways to forget the fact that they just torn someone apart. Finding ways to escape. And what were you doing? Crying? Praying? Trying to find ways to turn back times? Where is the person when you're sufferring? Look around, who were the ones there?

my very personal experience - my dad & mum, my best friends, my sistas, my close friends, even our mutual friends. But Not Him...

You're Not Alone. You dun need him.. In fact, he wasn't even there. Cherish those who were there. Feel thankful for those who were there.

2. Love Yourself, Love those who love you true.

Don't make things difficult for yourself. Dun bother to sacrifice. He already has a change of heart what's makes you think He'll come back for the sacrifices you've made? Even if he do comes back how long could it last? Becoz he dun have a choice? Becoz he pity you? So no choice he needs to return to your side! That's not Love. honestly, when he doesn't loves you anymore, when he has someone elses in his heart, he won't care for you.

A friend, a mother of two, a very capable and positive woman, said this to me "No one is worth you hurting yourself for. No one is worth your tears. Men are like cockroaches, you can't get rid of them, but you can live without them."

Imagine this scene:
You died. Your family, your friends, every of your close ones weep at your funeral. He/She felt bad, guilty, miserable etc... 3 yrs down the road, he found someone new, got married, live happily ever after. He's moved on. Your family? still touching your photo, feeling that pain, asking themselves why were you so silly?

You think he really gonna die for the fact that you ended your life becoz of him and join you at the faraway land??? NO! So... dun hurt yourself. I know it's hard. Becoz I did too... And now that I see the light, i feel silly. what for? He wasn't nice to me at all during the break up. Nasty is the only word I can think of.

3. Protect yourself

Unless it is a mutual break up, If not there's no such thing as "Friends is the next best level to go to if we cannot remain as lovers". No way. At least Not at the moment. Pls, while you're trying to heal that deep wound in you, you need to learn how to become from Lovers to Friends overnight? Don't. Respect yourself. Why clinge on to someone who doesn't cherish you? Dun buy that stories of sometimes we could meet up for dinner and movies, sometimes if you wanna find a place to getaway you are always welcome at my place. Why give yourself that hope that one day you guys gonna fall in love again? What if you don't? And you have to look at him as his friend and one day he comes telling you "Hey, I think I like this girl etc....."

And yes, it happened to me. I was told by him that he wants that "attached but not attached, Single but not really single" kind of r/s. I was told he still enjoys my company but he don't wanna be attached. in another words, he dun wanna commit. he wanna have choices where he could continue finding someone "more suitable"... Pls! eventually if he don't, he comes back to you? Doesn't that makes you the spare tyre???

I actually gave in to what he wanted intially... then I realised, how miserable i was. How pathetic I was. I am a friend whom he claims he cares very much for. But when I needed him he will not be there! When I needed someone to talk to he wasn't even available! But when he needed me I stupidly went to him. When he was lonely, I will accompany him. Look, I wasn't even being treated as a friend if you noticed. I was not even given a respect as a friend...

He flirted with me when he wants to. He gave me cold shoulders when he was occupied. I was not a friend whom he cares. But a friend with benefits. And when I mention this, my "friend with benefits" does not mean Fuck Buddies (though I knw that's the actual meaning), but I meant a friend who could keep him occupied when he is lonely while he sources for someone who interests him more.

So protect yourself. There is no need to force yourself to do things for someone else. A friend doesn't makes you so miserable. None of my friends make me that miserable. He is the 1st one. So he's not even worth a friend's trust. Not until one day you could face him as a friend again.

4. Removal

I feel so much better when I dun check on him anymore. My best friend told me, the more you went to check out on someone, the more you know, the more miserable you are. Yes, do a clean up. Remove whatever that you saw and will bring tears to your eyes. I deleted his phone numbers, I deleted all his messages, photos on my phone and ipod (though i kept those on my computer in some folders that I would never check till one day I'm comfortable of deleting every memories), I chucked whatever things that reminds me of him into some corners and threw those that I dun need, I deleted all our photos on Facebook and I hide him away from the newsfeed. I actually can't quite remember his phone number already but I dun care. Remove him... Dun torture yourself. If he doesn't treats you well, U DON'T NEED him.

and yes, i stopped reading his profile. I stopped going to his Ex Gfs' blogs. I feel so much better.
I carry on with my life... I'm enjoying myself with my friends and family.

And I start healing my health. I take my medicines regularly (you know how much I hated meds!) so my gastric ulcers can slowly recover. I looked fresher, more cheerful now. I started planning things for myself. I planned a chalet gathering, I planned an overseas trip in Aug 2010, I planned an overseas hiking trip with a best friend in Nov 2010. You know all these... will never happen when I was with him. It takes ages for something to happen when you have to do it with him. Now I dun have to, I feel perfectly fine as well. Then I realised, with him or without him, it makes no difference in my life. In fact, I am more efficient. Or at least, back to the normal efficient me.

So move on. Let him be of no difference in your life. You dun have to live a better life, you dun have to curse him for a lousier life. Makes no difference. He makes no difference in your life. You are still the same you, cheerful and lovely. soon, there will be someone who admires you for who you are, who appreciate you for what you did. Don't frown, don't cry, because someone out there who cares for you more loves your smile.

5. Get a Hug.

Yes, get a hug from whoever close to you. your buddies, your girlfriends, your besties, your family members. Enjoy that... I am still seeking for and enjoying warm hugs from others who care for me. Just... Find a Hug. Find a shoulder. Enjoy the fact that you have so many who you can count on. And not some worthless guy who couldn't treat you right.

LOL. long entry... phew. Let's all give a big big hug!! haha=p Thanks for all who were there. I am so much happier now... And I hope whoever out there who's falling, or fell, pls stand up soon... Dun worry. Everything's gonna be fine when you stand up. It's not so bad after all. =)

がんばってね　見んなさん！=)

|by ~* Bunny *~ at 12:35 AM|

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Saturday, July 24, 2010

No difference =)

hey readers! sorry about those emo entries! especially to those who got worried about me!! Dun worry! Bunny's a strong girl and I WILL MOVE ON!! =D

so f*ck those emo entries. having Timmy, without Timmy, my life goes on and you made no difference.

no difference in my life. =) I am still the same Rikka aka TaKaRa aka Bunny aka Bao Ping! =p
I am a happy single girl now who has a lot of nice things coming up to plan, tonnes of good friends who are always there and never left... and lots of things waiting for me!!

driving license, buying my honda fit (okie, I dun mind a Mini Van too! LOL!), my degree / certs, more rock climbing & hiking, travelling, setting up my biz... here I come!! I am gonna work so hard!

although... I will never forget those beautiful memories. Tiggy Rest In Peace. Pls watch over me in heaven. oh well, tiggy's just a super-love-me hubby figure... lol.

二哥&外公... if like what was said you guys are really watching over us, Pls gimme the strength to go on, protect me and let me find happiness in everything! 二哥, although you never had that chance to live, I will love you still as a brother. becoz we are one family. Ohana means family, family means nobody get left behind or forgotten. I know somewhere out there, you took care of all of us. sometimes, I wonder, if you're alive, probably I will not be borned. I owe my life to you... (and I rmb how lucky Mummy & I were to survive through that tough labor... rmb my life was in such critical stage.) I didn't have a chance to say thank you... Thank you... if you could hear me.

and sorry... when I thought of leaving... I'm sorry.

yeah... i was supposed to have 2 elder brothers.

I hope kor kor (as in my 大哥）gonna start up a biz with me soon... we actually had a quick talk about this and I kind of... got very excited. I wish, or rather, it's a goal I wanna make it happen. Kor Kor 加油！Bunny 加油！

uh oh... i need to sleep liao lah. working early later =( sobs.

oh, and i added bunnies counter! they are so cute!!!!!! yeah, i love rabbits. to core. LOL. and I was complaining to xien lin that no one visits my blog and she was like "are you kiddin' me? go install a counter and you'll know!" LOL. lets see.... who visits my blog pls raise you hand! LOL!

alrighty! I will upload nice lovely pictures soon... and my blog entries gonna be different soon! Good night folks!

Loves =)

|by ~* Bunny *~ at 6:01 AM|

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Friday, July 23, 2010

This is a fucking nasty post so for those who can't take it, DUN READ!

that's pathetic. before u start hating me for blogging about u, before u start acting like u're oh-so-fucking-helpless & tired. before u acted like "i dun wish to hurt u but i dun have a choice". THINK. USE UR BLOODY HELL BRAIN TO THINK OF WHAT U HAVE DID.

I HAD ENOUGH. BUNNY HAD ENOUGH. RIKKA HAD ENOUGH.

now seriously i dun care how nice ur pals are. to be comforting me and you and encouraging you to do what u have to do. to try to put in good words for u. oh, when we're together u said u are Z kind of person but sorry, very very sorry, what u did are X kind of person. AND BEFORE U TELL ME "TAKE IT THAT YOU'RE RIGHT & I'M WRONG.", BEFORE YOU TELL ME "TAKE IT AS WHATEVER U DEEM IT TO BE."
I HAVE TO SAY, I'M NOT THE ONLY FREAKING HUMAN WHO HAS EYES & EARS. unless u think u dun? but i guess, u're just a freaking human with confused heart yet thinks he's so damn clear of what he wants, pathetic.

building happiness and easy way out on me? get over it. that's not any gentlemen way and i guess u knew it that's why u flare up at my msges of truth. empty promises? never been more capable.

so if u fucking think that i'm going to be the same pathetic bunny being your spare tyre after LZ (i'm putting initials for her sake and not fucking u! becoz i think she's a victim of ur fucking unstable heart just like me.) rejected you, fuck that thought. Becoz I will never ever be the same stupid rikka who helped u be there for u like nobody's business financially, physically and mentally. u changed me. Thank you very much! oh no! U didn't changed me, you taught me how to protect myself. still, thank you very much!

Hate me. go ahead. tell ur future girlfriends how lousy i was, how emotionally unstable i was, that's why we're incompatible so u have no other pathetic choice to dump me a day after you told me "i wanna work hard and earn more money for ur sake so we can build our family together."

oh did i mentioned? he said when we're in love he really felt he wanna start a family and live happily ever after with me. but after that he changed his saying to, long long before he 'happened' to meet LZ he already felt that feeling was different.

for fuck sake! tell this excuse to a 3yr old kid and she'll probably laugh at how stupid u are. oh, i had my share, i got laughed for believing in that excuse from u! wtf .

rmb? I'm may be blind and love u god-damn deeply but i'm not stupid like what u thought me to be. that's why u always disagree with me becoz u think i can't be more capable of u isn't it? for fuck sake, u may be frm good sch, fucking commandor, tough life but honestly speaking, u aint any better than i am to judge my capability! rmb? u dumped her using the excuse that you guys were always quarreling so not compatible and u went straight on with another girl, then one day u realise "i feel so guilty i treated LZ so badly." and sent her pathetic long sms which she dun even wanna reply?

oh during the break up "I dunno if I still like her, maybe it's guilt bah. The feeling comes and goes. So i'm very scared that I'm doing the same mistake this time again. I still have feelings for u, but I dunno. So I want nature to takes its course. There's a possibility that I may get back with LZ, possibility I will get back to you, possibility I may found someone else. I dunno, future's unpredictable so I dun wanna think so much. I only want nature to takes its course." This is his meaning of a closure to that chapter?! then what about the Timmy & Rikka's Chapter? No closure lor...

ah pls, when ur friends or a new babe go question / tell you about what I just said, I am so sure you gonna say "no lor, I had never say that lor. she made it up."

LOL. there's no need for lies in my blog. got what I mean? I dare to swear that I never lie. I dare to swear I didn't let him down. I dare to swear that what I wrote here about his cheap talks were no made up stories.

so now u tell me, u wanna close that chapter be it good or bad. 2, 3 years down the road are u going to tell another then gf of yours "I need to close the chapter with rikka be it good or bad."? beoz for god's sake u used the exact same reason to dump us!!!!

and u told me.... in my life I only love 2 girls truly. LZ and Rikka.

FUCK OFF.

In my life I'd loved only 2 guys. One whom we broke up becoz everything between the both of us turn abusive.
Another one, whom we broke up becoz he wants to close his previous un-closed chapter and left our chapter hanging. which nearly broke me up. which i finally realised, becoz I love u too much, I gave in to every decisions u wanted and accepted every of ur fucking excuses.

Did anyone ever told you before? Even if you're not physically with another person but when you're in a r/s and you have feelings for someone else, THAT IS CHEATING. oh what's new? Aside for your 1st so-call puppy love, you practically cheated on every of your other gfs. and mind you, before you forgotten, LZ wasn't spared. Why didn't I think of it? you did it to them, you could do it to me. LOL. I can't believe I actually trusted your sweet talks of ever lasting love and you being a one-woman's man and actually agreed with the joint a/c? FUCK YOU!

now, curse me in ur heart for scolding u like this. honestly, u dun think u deserve it?
I dun care if u'd truly loved me. i dun care i'm that lucky one of the 2 that u truly loved.

U DON'T KNOW WHAT LOVE IS.

U DON'T KNOW WHAT PAIN IS.

She knows, I know. becoz we were the tools of yours, to your findings of 'happiness'. You simply give up when U dunno how to handle a quarrel. To you, a r/s should never ever have any big waves becoz when there is, you find it too tiring to hold on.

Giving up is ur trait. Find a robot gf, customise her to fit perfectly into your life, your pride, no quarrels, only happiness. There, perfect babe.

THOMAS CHEW, Fuck it. your friends can see this blog and think how scary ur Ex Rikka is. You can go tell ur pals and ur future girls how nasty Rikka was.

Deep down, only those who saw the both of us knows. people who knows me knows. what kind of person i am. only you and I know, how much pain u've inflicted in me for ur own sake. And you and I know what I'd been through with you and done for you and how you've treated me throughout the whole breakup.

For Once, stop thinking what u did were so god damn best for me and you. stop behaving like u're so pathetic. Your Girlfriend loved u like nobody's business. U dumped her becoz U THINK WE CANNOT GET ALONG. after going through so much? after going through your tough times together with you when u screwed things up and she didn't even gave up or look down on you? after everything good things we shared which you only remember the quarrels and you tell me we cannot get along???
fact is? you dun even know who u truly love, LZ or Rikka, or both or none.

I can't Thank you enough for being so god damn sweet to make me out of the 2 girls your truly love. I'm so touched. But woman of my life? my foot! before you start thinking of opening joint a/c, before you start saying "hey fellow jt a/c holder, you're the woman of my life." make sure you're not thinking with your fucking penis but your fucking tiny brain and heart to know HOW TO COMMIT AND LOVE SOMEONE WHOLEHEARTLY AND NOT ONE LEG HERE AND ONE LEG THERE.

hey, i pity myself for trusting u, for crying for u, for making every sacrifices for u... AND I WILL MOVE ON.

U taught me, writing in CAPS. ur favourite huh?

fucker, get a life. you're such a coward.

|by ~* Bunny *~ at 8:35 PM|

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Bunny 你是世界上最大最大的傻瓜！

I wanted to post happy things today... I wanted to post about my outing with Sista Janet & Bestie Prab, Dinner with Darling girls, Steamboat with Sista Janet and Chill out with Bestie Via...
I was so happy, excited to do what I wanted to do.

Then here I am, back home, logged in to Facebook. And guess what? I saw comments... comments I hope I didn't seen it at all...

I think...... He found someone new.

Bunny, you're such an idiot. Why are you crying? Why are you still sheding tears for someone who doesn't even think of you. you're forgotten, he has moved on! what the hell are you doing?

Stop those fucking tears. stop it. you're strong. dun cry for him anymore.

Bunny, buck up...

If I didn't get it wrong, I think he already has his new target.

If we're still together... we'll be enjoying good movies together. but he probably wishes to do it with someone else now...

though I enjoyed good movies with my pals too...

But, I miss you.

I wish to move on... like you.

If only... he could tell me... he found someone else. I would feel so much better.

I wish you good luck.

*I dreamt of him twice last night... being in his arms, resting my head in his chest. I woke up realising it was dumpy who wrapped his arms around mummy. thanks son, for helping replacing daddy.*

I longed to be in your arms again... but i guess, it's impossible... already. he's determine abt us being incompatible... bunny, 加油。别再为他流泪了。

*I miss you Tiggy, good night. Hope u visit me again tonight.*

|by ~* Bunny *~ at 4:11 AM|

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Thursday, July 22, 2010

It Doesn't matter

I just got entertained by XiaXue's Blog again. goodness, she's just real funny & brave. I dunno why some people thinks she's bimbo. Actual fact, I find her really witty. She's just being very very daring in her say. Anw, read one of her super old entry which she was describing about the girls that S'porean guys like. Hillarious! Kinda agree with her on some things she pointed out though...

Guys prefer girls who talk lesser, disagree lesser, less outspoken... (something along the line she meant lah.)
so it made me think again... The quarrels which had gotten to a point beyond salvaging, were usually the times I kept disagreeing with him. Makes me wonder, if I hadn't voice out that much in the past, will we still be together now?

haha=p anyway, it's past. Maybe if I'd tried being a coward and just shut my mouth up, probably the ending is the same still? (This is just an assumption, I can't predict!) When the Love is gone, it's gone. He's just telling me he don't know, he's confused because he's just being nice to me. Becoz if the love is still there, he'll hold on to me tight like as what he had promised. Like as what he wrote in my diary, telling me never to leave him and he would never do the same too. I dunno. It's an answer I'll never find out.

yeah I know, wanna tell me it's over so stop dwelling on it?
Bunny wishes to, but unfortunately, forgetting someone ain't that easy. Having someone close who left you, ain't easy. Especially when you truly loved him and especially when he made you believes that You're his The One and he's The One for you.

Beautiful Allis & Lovely Celena told me that no one is worthed my tears, no one is worthed me hurting myself for.
yes, I understood. Dun worry, Bunny's gonna be strong. =) or very least, I'll do my very best to be.

Though I still feel very very painful... Especially when I realised he's moved on without even a single bits of thoughts for me.. (okie, this is my assumption too. I didn't talk to him though, I just assumed.) Very painful, when I know I'm facing a god damn high risk of bumping into my one-sided love with his arm around another chick's waist... yeah, very painful becoz I do not have a say. I do not have the rights, the involvements in his life anymore.

Tears still swell up in my eyes when I talk about him, think about him. Sometimes when I woke up, I subconsciously whispered "good morning hubby..." then I paused and stoned for awhile. Realising the one beside me was my bolster and not Tiggy. "it's nice to see you first thing when I open my eyes" just cannot be continued anymore.

silly me. I really did loved him that much.

anyway, like I said, I'm treating that Tiggy's passed on... when he went to Taiwan.

oh, a few pals told me... best way to forget someone, is to find myself another partner. LOL. goodness. I guess I will never ever do that.
1) it's unfair to that guy.
2) I probably will not know how to love him right.
3) Ultimately, the more I tried forgetting, I'm risking into more misses for Tiggy.

though I secretly do hope a little little bit (I meant it, a little bit only!) I'll find a guy who looks like Tiggy... His smile, his figure, his face, a nice smell... But loves me more. LOL!!

well, Tiggy's not exactly good looking. In fact, most of my friends said he's just normal looking. some said they do not think he's even cute. some worse, said he looks like girl. haha! in any case, it's just something that I got attracted to. something I dun even know. LOLs!

Anyway, maybe coz I met my girlfriends earlier and they made me feel stronger, happier and more loved. that's why now I ain't so emo in my post. I hope I can remain like this going forward. you know, happy things are always more meaningful to be recorded rather than sad things. takes time I guess. BUNNY CAN DO IT! hahaha=p 加油！

will update my photos for dinner with darling girls and my JB trip with Sista Janet & Bestie Prab soon. Stay Tune! =D

*Good Night Tiggy. Wherever you are. Miss you lots. xoxo (bunny's good night kiss)*

|by ~* Bunny *~ at 4:47 AM|

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Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Good Morning Sweet Air

LOL. yeah, good morning sweet air. the day will only gets better.

strangely, every day I woke up with that god damn heavy feeling in me. Emo feeling? Feeling of loneliness? Excitment? Worries? LOL. dude, i dunno.

But I remember ytd sista was illustrating this story to me... the character said this to someone "You don't know what pain is."

It popped out in my mind the 1st moment i opened my beautiful eyes.

"You Don't Know What Pain Is."

yes you dunno. dun say sorry. dun say u understand. dun say you know it hurts. dun say you've no choice. dun say it's the best for me and you. 别说为我好.. dun tell me u know all along it's gonna hurt me like hell. don't. because You Don't Know What Pain is.

yes, you may be in a struggle. you may feel stranded, alone, frustrated, exhausted... but still you dunno what pain is.

and I hope one day, you'll realise what Pain is...

I dun need you to feel the same as what I went through.. but I hope you feel how Pain feels like.

And the Pain is what that kept me going stronger. Let me understood. Let me realised that there's no need to search for Happiness & Love. Happiness is there, Love is there, hiding in every small little things and moments that happened in every minute our life. We don't have to create happiness. They're there.

I hope you'll understand and find that happiness one day... not just the initial happiness in the start of love. but happiness in everything. because you're still creating happiness for yourself out from things.

Happiness & Love in friends, parents & siblings, nature, events, songs, everything... even strangers.

Weather's bad... Hope you're doing well.

|by ~* Bunny *~ at 6:53 PM|

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我想要... 会过得比你好

after night shift... so i supposed to be sleeping now! but but but... LOL. so lonely, muz blog to rant and release whatever in me... LOL!

well, perhaps... i guess... I am just afraid of forgetting? or maybe, I just dun wanna keep it in me yet I dunno how to voice out?

coming down with a flu soon =( I think i caught a cold in JB last evening becoz of the rain... god damn cold ytd man. Sembawang was pouring, madly.

bestie prab was asking me... why shld I be nice to someone who's not worth it at all? i couldn't answer her.

that was the least I could do. i am forbidden by him to carry on the promises i made, but i juz dun need to break every single promise i made. i dun wanna be like him.

and... he was worth it. or at least, the memories he gave me were. and still are.

beautiful allis and lovely celena came to talk to me this morn. they were concerned abt me. loves. they just brightened up my morning with simple words and advices.

Prab said I am a strong girl. so proud of myself. LOL!

but i guess... i'm still pretty weak deep down. I just know how to believe. 信总比不信好. haha, people's gonna scold me naive etc etc etc. but i guess, these are what made me happier. after all, i ain't such a pessimistic person as what he deemed me to be. well, i supposed. =p somehow, I know I'm stronger than him... LOL!

Bunny 加油！

while he moves on pretty well... i guess, i'm staying pretty strong too. in fact, he really gave me a lot of strength. he taught me courage and protection for myself. he makes me stronger.

i dare say perhaps this is the hardest i fell so far... but those moments were the happiest. holding on to memories is simply... beautiful.
and especially finding happiness in small things, seeing the amazing sides of everyone, knowing who you could always count on, and doing things for myself.

and realising... I am True to myself. True to my love, my friends and my family.

if my life is just a plain long path, he was an amazing guy who left some foot prints on it. and i'm glad he did.
and so i've forgiven that selfishness of his. else, I could never forgive myself.

gege asked me "为什么人总是在失去了之后才懂得珍惜？" i gave some real serious thoughts and I asked myself if I'm just one of those kind too?

at least till now, I know I'm not. becoz I cherished him too before I lost him.

what about him? does he miss me like how I do too?
or perhaps, somehow, he probably hates me now.

LOL... whatever lah. He's not Tiggy anymore. My Tiggy didn't survived.

gosh, so much to do. gotta book my colmar tropicale tour soon! Excited.

alright, off to bed in the morning sun. LOL.

Good night Tiggy. Miss ya.

|by ~* Bunny *~ at 10:29 AM|

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