Tuesday, July 27, 2010

明白什么叫做“珍惜”

hehe=p God damn delicious Korean BBQ in JB! *drool*
Bestie Prab drove us there for dinner. This is the 1st time I actually enjoyed Korean Food! Boss-cum-Chief is a true blue korean man who's really friendly! Look at the steamed egg, one word - Fabulouso!

I love going JB... Though I love going Muar even more! LOL! yah yah, half a malaysian kid, I kinda like staying in Malaysia. People there are not so particular... hmmm... how should I say? less stressful? So far, friends and relatives from Malaysia could be so much more 'open' in terms of speech. Like... Bunny sometimes talk without thinking straight and may be offensive. Instead of getting offended, they either hack-care or they directly clarify with u. oh well, or at least that what I thought when I communicate with my cousins. =p

Steamboat @ Bugis with Sista Janet!!! Gosh, I always Love Steam Boat! Really! If I do not have gastric problem, if I dun get fat so easily, I could almost steamboat everyday!! LOL. And guess what? I learnt a new skill... I KNOW HOW TO EAT CRAB FINALLY!!! with the help of the equipment (which I dunno what is the name for that! LOL!). Of coz, if you gimme crab to eat with just my hands and teeth, I'll probably.... not eat it. haha! After steamboat was dessert at Ah Chew Dessert stall opposite the steamboat place! Extreme Full... LOL. thanks to sista.

I thought this one looks like La Bi Xiao Xing 蜡笔小新! damn cute hor? =)

Took this... coz it's so cute!!! Innocent drawing... I never knew Merlion looks like that! LOL.

Alright... confession time... =(
I'm doing good now that I have stopped thinking about him as much as before... the fact that I've deleted everything and forgotten his phone number helps a lot.
But there's one thing I really cannot cannot get over... is that he had came up with so many excuses to dump me, yet he still expects me to understand that his selfish actions were actually doing him and me good. And he expected me to buy his stories that we cannot get along etc and now he's actually 'finding his ways' to close the chapter between him and LZ be it gd or bad...

To close the chapter between him and LZ somehow became like a lie. It's more like... He wanted to get back close with LZ again. it's more like... he wanted to close the chapter in a good way.

He said he wants singlehood, he said he never been single for more than 5 days in the last dunno how many years. Let's see... how long is he going to enjoy this singlehood. If LZ decided to return to him, i give him 3mths? LOL.. yeah, lulu is right. Thomas is someone who can never stand loneliness (although he always claims he is independent and can be alone. Not for long was what answered to me by others).

Though I very much wish to believe he really did truly love me... somehow his actions now made me feel like I was a substitute for his loneliness. Of coz, also became like a tool for him to get away from Ms Jail. I never understood how someone could made the most promises in the world and break them like they never meant anything. worse still was that he thinks I dun get it when it was his actions and words dun tally. I never understood how could someone at his age never realised what he did was so contradicting. did he even realises that what he did made me feel like a spare tyre? but yeah, ah lin is right, like as if he cares. He dun cares. so why bother thinking?

the fact is he never cherished me... and all his current actions has caused him to portray himself as a liar. (yah I know, as if he cares since he created wonderful stories to me, he could do it to anyone) I finally understood why friends including myself alway commented he has play-boy look. it's not so much of the physical looks, rather, it was his actions i guess. yeah, lovely auntie susan actually told me this today that she was not shocked about our break up (LOL. she is the 1st one and only one i heard so far, not shocked about it. haha!). she was telling me that he gave her a impression of a immature boy not wanting responsibilities and commitments but just play. Not worth my tears, effort and love. sigh, I know. But forking out so much in every aspects for him, makes me wanna hate him now. yet I dunno how. I never really hated anyone. I guess... Forgiven him, but not forgotten yet.

though becoz of many issues, especially some sensitive ones, made me feel like...... He didn't know what he did makes him look super No-Pride (I dunno what's a correct word for this... 没尊严) Discussed this topic and conclusion came out that... if we are him, we won't do such a thing... it's just 超丢脸 for a guy.

Anyway, Ah lin and Prab and few others commented to me about his FB shoutouts. they were telling me it's god damn juvenile to do a countdown. Nobody is stupid enough to leave a work place with a bad impression. should... 好聚好散... becoz you'll never know one day you may need help from anyone, or just imagine one day it happened your ex-bosses become your bosses again. what will be your career impression? sigh, i dunno why did he do that. ever since he came back from Taiwan, things he's been doing (let's not say about those for our break up) has just become very... juvenile is the right word provided to me. I mean... I'm not trying to put him down... Just feel very sad. like where was that guy I always admire went to?

and juvenile reminds me of that one saturday when he was upset with the cab uncle's attitude... He just threw the money to the uncle and forced me and himself out of the cab in the middle lane of a busy road. sigh. i hated that moment. it was god damn childish... I just didn't have a chance and a heart to tell him that.

it makes me wonder... why did I shed so much tears for him... and why... am I still in Love with him? well, apparently he's doing very good with LZ now. even recommended her the brand of corns he likes, which is of what he used to make cup corns for both of us.

Love is so fragile. I never knew. I always thought love is so meaningful and great that it could moves me to tears. yet now, it was that fragile-ness that brought tears to me.

Anyway, enough of him! LOL. just a moment of emo-ing and Bunny will be strong again! LOL. I know I know he's not worth it.. 我知道了啦! I just kind of miss that responsible mature and caring timmy I used to know. But I'm looking forward. I know I deserve a better guy whom I dun have to suffer with. Especially emotionally & financially. LOL!!!

Actually... becoz of the break up.. I really see through lots of things. kinda like grew up overnight. in a way, forced to grow up actually. LOL. but I realised I really have a lot of people loving me... even friends that I didn't managed to contact often.. My family and friends really care alot.. I'm so glad I really had a lot of people to pull me up when I fall. Understood the meaning of 'Cherish', understood how important they are to me now... 明白什么叫做“珍惜”。Everybody... thanks for being there =D I really dunno how else to thank u guys.

Anyway, time to reveal that mystery that's making me sooooooo excited!:

1)
10 Aug 2010 - I organised a chalet for me and close pals from citi shift team!!

2)
22 Aug 2010 - (I know this is very SUA GU but yes....) My 1st time taking plane! LOL. I'll be flying to KL with Sista Janet for 2 days...

3)
24 Aug 2010 - Damn crazy... I'll be flying off ALONE from KL to backpack in Taipei Taiwan for 5 days!! I hope I could stay longer though but kinda last minute decision so in the end could only do it for 5 days... really gonna be budget and explore. of coz, I found a comfortably looking hostel near to Taipower MRT station.

My 1st Daring Step, also a breaking point... you know, I'm a super duper timid bunny so I never really dare to sleep alone at unfamiliar places.. plus I'd never been further than Genting lah! LOL! Sista Janet and I both are very proud of myself lor! LOL!! hahaha=p this time going alone sounds scary to me actually but yet, exciting! I got so many places I wanna visit!! Bunny 加油! oh peeps! if anyone of you has any books or maps or guides or tips etc on Taipei, PLS PLS PLS LEND ME & TEACH ME!! =D

4)
14 Nov 2010 - 5D4N trip to Sabah with Bestie Via... We gonna do climbing to submit of Mt Kinabalu in 2 days... so I gonna start doing quite a bit of training now.. coz most likely will be a little 'xiong' since it's to reach the top in 2 days.

5)
Gonna get one more tattoo... a small one on the side of my neck near to my ear most likely... holy shit. LOL. I hope Daddy & Mummy won't scold and my stupid Sis Janice won't 有样学样! becoz everytime she does something, always very extreme!!! then it became 大姐's fault!!! Pls Pls Pls!! Don't!! LOL.

LOL.... 5 events... enough huh? Looks like I gonna eat bread for the next 1/2 year man... and chiong for OT le lah... Hopefully in the meanwhile I could find a job that pays well too... Really wish to change environment... though I can't bare to leave Citi... I really like my friends here... and job wise I actually find it okie... but really hated the flashbacks of our story in office. Guess, it's time i learn some new skills too...

Phew. Long Long entry again. it's 3pm now and I was back from Night shift at 11am (after breakfast with sista Janet and Via Via Khoo) and I'm still blogging... goodness. gotta wake up in 4hrs time for a movie date. LOL.

Good night peeps! good afternoon peeps! good day peeps! LOL.

Hakuna Matata =)

|by ~* Bunny *~ at 12:45 PM|