Thursday, July 22, 2010

It Doesn't matter

I just got entertained by XiaXue's Blog again. goodness, she's just real funny & brave. I dunno why some people thinks she's bimbo. Actual fact, I find her really witty. She's just being very very daring in her say. Anw, read one of her super old entry which she was describing about the girls that S'porean guys like. Hillarious! Kinda agree with her on some things she pointed out though...

Guys prefer girls who talk lesser, disagree lesser, less outspoken... (something along the line she meant lah.)
so it made me think again... The quarrels which had gotten to a point beyond salvaging, were usually the times I kept disagreeing with him. Makes me wonder, if I hadn't voice out that much in the past, will we still be together now?

haha=p anyway, it's past. Maybe if I'd tried being a coward and just shut my mouth up, probably the ending is the same still? (This is just an assumption, I can't predict!) When the Love is gone, it's gone. He's just telling me he don't know, he's confused because he's just being nice to me. Becoz if the love is still there, he'll hold on to me tight like as what he had promised. Like as what he wrote in my diary, telling me never to leave him and he would never do the same too. I dunno. It's an answer I'll never find out.

yeah I know, wanna tell me it's over so stop dwelling on it?
Bunny wishes to, but unfortunately, forgetting someone ain't that easy. Having someone close who left you, ain't easy. Especially when you truly loved him and especially when he made you believes that You're his The One and he's The One for you.

Beautiful Allis & Lovely Celena told me that no one is worthed my tears, no one is worthed me hurting myself for.
yes, I understood. Dun worry, Bunny's gonna be strong. =) or very least, I'll do my very best to be.

Though I still feel very very painful... Especially when I realised he's moved on without even a single bits of thoughts for me.. (okie, this is my assumption too. I didn't talk to him though, I just assumed.) Very painful, when I know I'm facing a god damn high risk of bumping into my one-sided love with his arm around another chick's waist... yeah, very painful becoz I do not have a say. I do not have the rights, the involvements in his life anymore.

Tears still swell up in my eyes when I talk about him, think about him. Sometimes when I woke up, I subconsciously whispered "good morning hubby..." then I paused and stoned for awhile. Realising the one beside me was my bolster and not Tiggy. "it's nice to see you first thing when I open my eyes" just cannot be continued anymore.

silly me. I really did loved him that much.

anyway, like I said, I'm treating that Tiggy's passed on... when he went to Taiwan.

oh, a few pals told me... best way to forget someone, is to find myself another partner. LOL. goodness. I guess I will never ever do that.
1) it's unfair to that guy.
2) I probably will not know how to love him right.
3) Ultimately, the more I tried forgetting, I'm risking into more misses for Tiggy.

though I secretly do hope a little little bit (I meant it, a little bit only!) I'll find a guy who looks like Tiggy... His smile, his figure, his face, a nice smell... But loves me more. LOL!!

well, Tiggy's not exactly good looking. In fact, most of my friends said he's just normal looking. some said they do not think he's even cute. some worse, said he looks like girl. haha! in any case, it's just something that I got attracted to. something I dun even know. LOLs!

Anyway, maybe coz I met my girlfriends earlier and they made me feel stronger, happier and more loved. that's why now I ain't so emo in my post. I hope I can remain like this going forward. you know, happy things are always more meaningful to be recorded rather than sad things. takes time I guess. BUNNY CAN DO IT! hahaha=p 加油！

will update my photos for dinner with darling girls and my JB trip with Sista Janet & Bestie Prab soon. Stay Tune! =D

*Good Night Tiggy. Wherever you are. Miss you lots. xoxo (bunny's good night kiss)*

|by ~* Bunny *~ at 4:47 AM|

 

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