Sunday, August 8, 2010
Salt
Anyway, Salt was breath-taking. so many things in the show feels "OUCH!!!" to me... lol. yeah, very action pact so i really like it... but again, I hated the ending... it's another kind that makes you go like.... "so now how? she escape liao then how? who is she helping eventually?" LOL. yeah... I hate the feeling of suspense. I love surprises though, not suspense and shock. haha=p
End up... 3 of us 'rua' at the sofa for abt 1hr lor... LOL! oh, I ran off to surf net until I realised a lot of people attempted being kaypo to look at what I was surfing. LOL!
ermmm... sista just need to watch the screen and eat at the same time. cannot keep still. LOL.loves the jokes we shared and the movie time! =)
well, kinda hate the cab ride home alone every night... it makes my mind wanders and i just get emo a while during that ride. makes me think a lot lah... I thought about Angelie Jolie in the show... the physical pains... what can that be compared to her emotional pains? yes, damn it.. emotional pains are uncontrollable. fuck hell... though it makes me grow, i hate growing the tough way like this.
anyway, best of all I found out some amazing stuffs today. But nahz, I'm not going to talk about it. I could only say, I'm not like him.
sigh... sometimes I wonder, did I just push that pain in one corner hoping i'll forget about it one day... or did I just let it grow in that corner? somehow, i realised, I ain't as strong as what I want myself to be yet. hopefully after my trips.. I'm be stronger.
somehow, i know all these while, good things he said during the r/s and during the break up were all lies.. I mean, I didn't choose not to believe them. I chose to believe what he said was real. I chose to believe I'm that One out of the Two he truly loved. then, slowly day by day, I discover more and more things about him and things he did... then i start realising... maybe i was really a fool? it's so easy to say "I Love You" to someone? silly bunny... I couldn't do it doesn't mean someone else couldn't do. And if even I had done things like saying "I Love You" without meaning them before to other guys, he could have done it even much better than I do. just sadly, maybe he had just did it to me...
he hated it when i doubted his love for me. while i hated it when he didn't realised my love was and still is, true. or maybe he realised... then, i hated it when he let his own actions proved his speech wrong.
so this kind of pain... it sux. I could scold thousand times of "fuck" without even feeling bad about it. does anyone feel the same kind of pain before? it's not sad, it's not hate, it's not love, it's not miss, it's not guilt, it's not anything and it's not nothing. you just dunno what it is.
and yes, he will never ever know what kind of pain I'm talking about.
I dun hate him... I just feel super disappointed with his actions. I just feel painful. some kind unable to compare, not even to that horrible pain of tattoo touch up I did. once again, thank you timmy, thomas chew.
every attacks of the pain, every small little juvenile things u did, makes me braver each time... I hope to step out of it soon.
each day, i slowly forgotten a digit in his mobile number, each day I slowly forgotten a small part of his looks, each day i slowly forgotten parts of moments with him and things he did. each day his shadow in my mind seems further and further away... each day, i look forward to a day when I dun think about him anymore.
and one day, he will not appear in my mind anymore. probably, just like how I was to him.
do you think he misses me?
LOL. sigh, he dun cares. anw, whether he misses or he doesn't, it doesn't mean anything to me. we're impossible and dun tell me "nothing is impossible" becoz i wanna make this impossible. I just want to. I dun wan any possibilities. sigh. pain...anyway, Hakuna Matata for bunny!! Bunny Bunny 加油加油! =D yup, I'll get well. I'll be fine soon!
so excited about the chalet on coming tuesday... but as the day gets nearer, the more exhausted I am. LOL. a little anxious too. scared I didn't do it well enough to what I want it to be.
Taiwan trip in 2 weeks time. getting very excited and a little frightened about it as days passed by too... mixed feelings! worst is, i haven't plan or prepare anything yet!! oops. LOL..jpg)
see uncle Tony's so nice! He went down to Taiwan Tourism Board and he helped me get maps and guides too! best of all, he helped me collect free passes to Taipei's National Palace Museum and Amusement Park!!!! Yeah I can go 小人国 to see Doraemon already!!! Free of charge!!! so happy!! =D
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And I have nice pals like Sook & Simon who lent me their Taipei Guides! Sook's the best... she gave me cards and taught me how to go and where to go to eat! best right? and Lynn too!! she gave me her map and made markings for me and taught me how to go! omg. they are all more excited than me lah. LOL.
While I'm kinda afraid coz I'm going alone... they thought I am brave to do it. LOL! hope i won't chickened out. but i guess, I won't lah. hahaha=p money already paid to airlines and hostel liao... LOL.
and they keep asking me to find cute Taiwanese Guys. hahahaha!! people, pray for me to meet knowledgeable and cute guys there lah. Not necessary need to be Taiwanese lah! LOL!!!
omg. pls. LOL. I'm just kiddin!
Oh anyway, I just realised I did take photos that day when I went in to JB! Took a few secret snaps of Elle Salon!! (paiseh lah... later people think I'm some freak taking pictures). LOL!
Don't my hair looks a little healthier after hair spa?? lol.. anyway, I trimmed bits of it. Finally I get to layer a little of my hair... looks a little not-so-heavy now. haha=p
oops! this is before the hair cut. I'm just ending the entry with a 自恋 photo again! LOL. I think i'm very much in love with myself now, more confident day by day! LOL!!! very much in love with the beach too, with the sky too, with travelling too, with blogging too, with organising fun stuffs too, with photographing too, with climbing too, with my tattoos too and blah blah blah... never ending! LOL!
alrighty! Good day to everyone! while I'm off to bed soon =p
|by ~* Bunny *~ at 4:32 AM|
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